The other day, as I was scouring meditation scripts about letting go, I came across a phrase that seemed to punch me straight in the gut. “Breathe into the resistance.” In this particular instance, the author was talking about letting go of difficult emotions and experiences, watching them float away like a feather. And she talked about times when it may be extra hard to really allow that “feather” to float away and leave you, challenging yourself to explore why you are experiencing resistance to something you know you need to let go of. “Breathe into the resistance.”
It hit me in one of those ways where you’re equal parts feeling like that’s the best advice you’ve ever heard and that’s the most obvious statement you’ve ever heard. Something about it resonated deep within me. Perhaps, because it’s similar to a statement I say frequently when I teach. I often tell students to breathe into any areas of tension to help release it. But I’ve never applied that advice to life. Sometimes we find ourselves resisting change or difficulties that we really do want to let go… but why are we resisting? That is definitely a question worth thinking about!
I have a lot of experience with self sabotaging thoughts and behavior. It’s a vicious cycle when you fall prey to it! Not too long ago, I was drinking every night, then gorging on junk food, going to bed late, and then waking up to feel a tremendous amount of shame and self hatred. My head was not a healthy place. I would berate myself, swear that TONIGHT I wouldn’t fall into those same patterns. And then by dinner time I was wanting a drink, more out of habit than the actual desire for a drink. Eventually, I had enough of hating myself, shaming myself, feeling like I wasn’t the person I was portraying myself to be. So over a year ago, I took a month off from drinking alcohol just to break the habit I had formed. It wasn’t easy. I didn’t realize just how much of a habit it had become. It took a couple weeks before I didn’t have the thought crossing my mind each night. And because I wasn’t drinking, I wasn’t eating junk late at night. I no longer start my day feeling shame and disgust.
I still stay up too late. I guess maybe I’m just a night owl. But that’s another thing I want to change. I suppose when I’m ready I’ll make the change. But in the meantime, I’ll breathe into the resistance. I’ll explore why I’m resisting making a change that I know would better my health and my life.
We can all relate to this in some way. For some, maybe you’re wanting to develop healthier eating habits. Others, you’re wanting to feel better about the health of your body, maybe working out more, maybe taking more time to rest. Whatever it is, breathe into the resistance and try to let go of your attachment to the cycle. Sometimes we’re attached to that cycle, despite knowing it’s bad for us, because it’s all we know and we’re comfortable there. Just keep taking deep breaths and trying to let go of that attachment. When the time is right you’ll get there. Then you’ll take the deepest breath ever and feel the biggest sense of relief
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